Perverted for Penguins

Notice the one in the back singing and playing the tuba

I have temporarily renamed Pandemic my magic bicycle, Regatta the magic bicycle after the great sailing conditions the Otago peninsula is producing today. I am hoping that the wind shifts once again and sails Regatta the magic bicycle up this 70 kilometer cascading hill. The wind sounds like I am at the opera and harmonizes with each new bend in the hill I peddle. The musical westerly, easterly and northerly winds blend into a bellowing rhythmic percussion that insists on chilling my frosty ears. I peddle and thrash at dawn through the icy windy song on schedule.

I have an important appointment to keep. I notified the yellow eyed penguins yesterday that I would be coming. But just in case they didn’t receive my message, I have brought along three tins of sardines. I figure it couldn’t hurt to smell like fish while I hideout and wait in the tall grasses at Sand Fly Bay beach. The stealth bomber hideout and hope to see penguins, while looking up for albatross, mission has begun.

The yellow eyed penguins are shy little ocean critters that prefer a lot of privacy. They can’t waddle that fast so they are a bit self conscience of their figures. They are quite selective of when, how and if they will come to shore to their nests. They always have to have it their way, that figures. However, I let them know ahead of time that I thought being 21inches (1.9 feet) tall, sporting black and white feathers and possessing yellow banded demonic eyes made them pretty damn cute so they need not to worry about being so self conscience. And, they could feel free to waddle about their business free of judgment or criticism. My only trepidation about the first meeting is that they might think I am some kind of voyeuristic pervert lurking in the tall beach grass salivating to pitch a look.

It has been three days now. The tall grass that engulfs my little green tent is bending over in defeated boredom. The stealth bomber hideout and hope to see penguins while looking up for albatross mission has been …….. oh wait…..is that a tuba I hear…….no…...it’s them….here they come. Marching out from the ocean like a St Patrick’s Day parade, in full waddle and dressed in their Sunday’s best plumage on a mission of their own to climb the grassy embankment to find their nests. They don’t seem to see me or smell my rotted 3 day old sardine stench. This is a spectacular sight even for a perverted for penguins cyclist who has been patiently waiting in the tall grasses to catch a glimpse of the yellowed eyed penguin colony and all their waddling glamour. I will continue looking up for albatross as I cycle on into the southern tip of the south Island.

As I sail back down the 70 kilometer hill with wind power and satisfaction at my back I grin through the cold winter air over Regatta the magic bicycles handlebars. I am bubbling over with the overwhelming gratitude of a mission complete. The stealth bomber hideout and hope to see yellowed eyed penguins while looking up for albatross mission has been a success.