Rain Snot Dirt

Another rain drenched frozen booger splatters me in the face as I splash down the hill. I am dodging snot, dirt and freezing rain pellets. The late autumn rain is so intense it has gotten ridiculous. So ridiculous and cold it is humorous to try to be out here. So this is what the shop keeper meant this morning when he said the weather was coming in. The locals are laughing AT me until I start laughing and then they laugh with me. Some cars just honk and give the thumbs up others just laugh as they pass by. I try to avoid such fun interactions only because if I stop peddling my body shivers into a deep freeze. The only thing stopping me from carrying on is that I can’t see through the rain, snot and dirt. The triplets of inclement weather are interfering with my visibility and lady like appearance. This is my new definition of inclement.

I finally call it a day and cycle into a campground. I feel like a used wet Kleenex tissue tattered and torn from over use, the kind you can only find in the rubbish. On top of being really disgusting, wet and cold I am hungry. 7 huge tacos, a bag of popcorn, a chocolate bar, 1.5 litres of orange flavored water and then 2 lamb chops, a bowl of green beans and a plate of rice later I lift my drooling floppy mouth, breath, sigh, breath and think ok what can I eat next?

3 more tacos,2 cups of hot chocolate, ice cream, a cheese roll (grilled cheese sandwich), a handful of cashews and raisons, some yogurt and some cookies I breath, sigh, breath. I may be the first person in the history of cycling in the Catlins, New Zealand to become morbidly obese while cycling into the oncoming rainy winter. Until I pop a tire or split my pant zipper I don’t think I will worry too much about it. More rain is predicted for tomorrow and a hole lot more eating my way to the morbidly obese benchmark! After all it is important to have goals!