Is Peeing In The Snow Really Considered Artwork?

As most of you know, thanks to my mom I was born a girl.  Anyone who changed my diapers back then truly realized that I was indeed a girl.  As the years past by I shed my dependency on the cloth diaper and became friends with the toilet and learned to sit or squat to pee, a far more convenient peeing position than standing due to my proximity to the toilet target.

However, while bicycle touring or any outdoor adventure peeing in the far more hygienic option of the great outdoors has become my peeing location of choice. I will chose a tree, bush, field or behind a deserted building long before I venture into a fish bowl of urine.  As Pandemic The Magic Bicycle stands watch,  I look both ways for cars, hustle to the closest tree and power pee like a world champion girly girl. Lightning fast, preferably on a downhill and out of site, I pee like the girl I am, hike up my be the adventure panties and pedal on.

This remarkable natural technique has been practiced by millions of women since the beginning of time.  Boys pee standing up and girls pee squatting, a beautiful difference between men and women and one that should be embraced by both sexes.

Last week an article I wrote about Solo Female Bicycle Touring was quoted in a bicycle touring manual e-book in the Advice For Woman Planning To Bike Tour chapter between the periods and peeing section, a baffling placement of an article quote celebrating solo female bicycle touring and safety.  Perhaps due to sponsorship dollars the writers advocate for women to use a peeing device that allows women to pee standing up like men.  Also, the writers speak of women having to hold their pee for hours while bicycle touring in SE Asia prior to finding a good spot, an issue I have never encountered in SE Asia or anywhere due to my stealth lightning fast girly girl power peeing technique, and no folks a manual or special plastic device is not necessary to learn such a remarkably simple, natural technique. In fact, most 5 year olds have this one mastered.

Therefore, I scratch my head and wonder why some people insist on seeing a man’s world as more convenient especially when it comes to peeing.  I am proud to pee like a girl and my thighs are stronger for it.  I have spend countless hours while cycling peeing on the side of the road without major issue and thousands of cold winter nights back in Alaska peeing outside without complaint or envy of the boys, for after all spelling things with pee in the snow isn't exactly considered artwork.

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Anonymous said...

Actually it's because of your dad you're born a girl. Mom could only give you the X chromosome and so had nothing to do with the gender outcome. Just saying. Enjoying your blog....

Anonymous said...

There are very few times as a chauvinistic deadbeat male that I actually feel sorry for women,one is at the local drive-in movie theatre.On any saturday night there could be anything up to 200 cars that means there could be 200 women+and they've all only got 30 minutes to go to the "loo" at interval which means, long queues,while it takes us (mere males) a coup'la sec's to be in and out,that women in the fawn blouse one has noticed has just moved up the queue four paces and she has a 150 females,I try not to comment about penis envy :)

Skalatitude..."When humans and nature are living in harmony there is magic and beauty everywhere"
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