Number 5
Your clothes have gotten so mangy that even stray dogs are frightened of your appearance
Number 4
You are stuck in a vehicle and you want to get out and cycle
Number 3
Walking seems like too big of an effort
Number 2
You decide to use an old map as toilet paper because the last three shops you have been to don’t stock TP, because the locals don’t believe that paper is any better than a hand as a bum wiping utensil
Number 1
You know the words for ‘beer’ and ‘can I sleep here for free’ in half a dozen languages
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