I went out on a date the other day. I am still not sure if it was the best date or worst date I have had in my life. The man who took me out goes by the name of Dansey. He made a pass at me and to my surprise I kind of liked it. So against my better judgment I began flirting with disaster and agreed to go out with him. He is not the first man to make a pass at me but his bad boy allure and sexy mountainous curves made him hard to resist.
Dansey is a curvaceous tall fellow say about 935 meters (3068 feet) tall with sparkling rock brown limestone hair with a jagged pointed sense of humor. He enjoys bathing in the rain and exhausting petit flat chested brunette cyclists. Dansey is multiracial, a gorgeous tempting mix of tar seal, dirt and white gravel pebble rock road. He is equipped with rock hard abs and lickable drop off cliffs. Dansey’s idea of a fun date is 25 kilometers of very steep switch backs, gradient a quazillion in the freezing rain followed by rolling hills for another 40 kilometers into a wet winter head wind. The kind of wet head wind that laughs at gortex rain gear. I considered postponing my date with that too cool for my school Dansey fellow but quickly realized that the rain would be turning to snow in a few days. And since I was already wet, from the rain that is, the plans were set for a cold early winter’s day.
I can’t say I wasn’t warned about this Dansey character’s reputation. The locals chuckled and politely said Dansey? And then silently gawked at me leaving me to wonder what I was getting myself into. Other folks just busted out with it and said Dansey is up to his old tricks again. Normally I would of cancelled a date with a character with such a wide spread reputation for making passes but Dansey had my blood pumping so there was no stopping the encounter. Also, I had just purchased new woolly socks and glove liners and was dying for an excuse to wear them.
Well the socks and gloves didn’t last long they ended up on the floor I mean pannier after the first 10 km(6 miles) and didn’t return until the sub-arctic summit a good 4 hours later when I decided to put on almost everything I had in order to stage my parting with Dansey. Dansey proved to be quite the player he came on very strong, was a little rough and left my thighs burning for more. I managed to escape Dansey’s final play of rescuing me as I froze solid upon his summit. I didn’t want to be considered frigid so I split pretty fast. I avoided the long awkward goodbye knowing I had a huge decent and another 40km(26 miles) of chilly rolling hills home to my icy wet tent. That Dansey had done it again and certainly proven his reputation for memorable passes.